Good talk

So, now I know not only does he listen, he speaks too. I think there are several ways to have a conversation with Jesus. Through meditation, reading, prayer, etc... I have been looking for those ways that will give me the best conversation with him. I am sure that each of those ways and others will allow me to have great communication with him. This weekend, I got my first response.

We had an FCA breakfast for teams at the basketball tournament in Colby. They had been looking for a speaker for sometime, and were running into road block after road block in getting people to speak. They found a speaker by the name of Gary Green. He was a football player for Kansas University, and became an ordained minister in October. As I sat down to listen to him I was amazed at the age of Gary and how well he was able to talk to this crowd of people. Then I listened.... As he talked, I heard the conversation with Jesus. Now, I am sure that I was not alone in understanding how good his message was and how important the things he was saying could help in life. I just know as he talked, I had my conversation. Jesus was talking, and I was listening. A guy who I had never met before, who was talking to a large audience..... I was getting a response to questions I had asked and thought about these last 3 or 4 weeks. I was getting advice from a friend. I was tuned in to everything he was saying. After he spoke I went down to him to thank him for coming and for his message.... Really, I just wanted to thank him for the conversation.

It's a start....

It has been a few days, since I have written on the blog. Two reasons for that. 1. It is a very busy week. 2. I needed some time to start my conversation with Jesus and see where it would lead or go.

How is the progress after 6 days? Well.... hard. I really had trouble with the starting of it. Every night I pray the Lord's prayer. I started this during my Senior year in High School. I had attended a church service in North Platte, and the sermon was on prayer. I listened and decided that every night before I fell asleep, I would say the Lord's prayer, no matter where or what is going on in my life. It is a routine. I am very much a routine guy. But that is what it has become a routine. I don't want a routine connection with Jesus. I want a friendship. On my way to school, more times than not I pass this person that is on a walk. (Unless the weather is bad etc.. ) Anyway, I wave to them everyday. At first I got no wave back, then a reluctant wave, and then a kind of "good to see you again" wave. Now, it is almost like I worry a little bit if I don't see them, and get the wave. I wonder if they are hurt, sick, or maybe they think I am a stalker!!!

Do I have a relationship with that person? Yes, a little bit. It is a very routine relationship. I don't know their name, they don't know mine. We have probably run into each other at other places throughout town, and don't know it. But, I worry if I don't see this person walking in the morning. I almost need to see this person and wave to start the day. It is almost like a reassurance that the day is running smoothly!

That is how I felt about my prayer with Jesus at night. I said the prayer, and I then went to bed. If I didn't say it at night, I felt I was missing something. It is a very routine relationship with Jesus.

I want a better relationship with Jesus then just a wave and a reassurance that everything is still running smoothly. To do that is to start more of a conversation with him rather than just pray his prayer. I started that this week. I started with the just sitting down and closing my eyes and talking to him. I have read some verses from the bible on my computer. We'll see.

There is a lot of catching up to do, and some things to clear the air about. But, it's a start.....

Coachable...

Friday I talked about expectations from myself in my spiritual life and expectations that Jesus has for me. After reading an e-mail form my Dad, and doing some thinking and pondering I have come to the conclusion, that if I want the relationship that I want, that it is going to start with me. The conversations need to start with me. Which leads me to "coachable". I have been shown, I have been taught, I have been given opportunities to have a friendship with Jesus. I have not taken any of them. Yes I am a Christian, and yes I have faith in his word, but to say I am close to Jesus would be false. It comes down to taking what I have been taught and shown and put it into action. No more letting the opportunity to start a friendship with Jesus slip by. Easy to say or write on a blog.... It comes down to work. Should a relationship with Jesus be work? I think in a way every relationship requires work. I think if anything it requires maturity. Which who knows, I might be getting to a point in my life where I have found some of that! That is being coachable. Having the maturity to take advice or an opportunity that will take some changing of me as a person and working on it. This will take time. How much? Who knows, but it is up to me to do this. To start the conversation, and to continue the dialogue with him.

Expectations

The last two entries I have talked about my problem with "expectations" and my lack of being "coachable" in my spiritual life. I feel if I am going to correct these problems I have, I need to go back and find what it is that has led me to where I am. This entry will not include much about coaching, but I have a strong feeling that as I write this stuff out, I will find a correlation with my coaching....

I want to look at the expectation part first. I know his expectations for me, or do I? I think he expects me to trust in him, have faith in him, believe that he is the son of God, study his teachings, understand that he is the truth, and he was crucified so that we may live. I would say that I live up to those expectations. I would not tell anyone any different if I was asked to describe my belief. My belief is in Christ. Now, do I live the way he wants me to live? Is that part of his expectations? Is his expectation for me to live how he would live? Does a father or mother expect their children to live how they would? To have a relationship with him, do you have to meet some sort of expectations? Maybe, he has no expectations, and just wants to meet you and walk with you? From reading the Bible, I believe that he does have expectations. I'm just not sure the spectrum of them. I know right and wrong. I know he wants right. He is there to guide you out of wrong, and help you achieve what is right. Is that it? Is he just there to guide you? Can he be a companion? Is he like a newspaper advice columnist, that you write to and get an answer? Or, is he the friend and confidant that you pour your heart to when you need advice? There is a huge difference. I think it is up to me to determine which one he is with my expectations of what I want.

Listening to Coach

As I was growing up sports were always big with me. No, I wasn't the best at them. I was average. But, I enjoyed them, competed in them, and did what I could do. Probably one of my best attributes that I thought was that I was "coachable". If the coach taught us a drill, or how to do something, I would do it until I got it right, and would continue to work on it. I was able to understand the gameplan that was put out there, and do what he wanted done. Now, I messed up a lot too, and sometimes I was not the better man in situations, so I was doing what was asked of me, but I lost more battles than I won during the particular contest. I competed, but didn't come out on top all the time. Now that I am coach I do run into athletes that I feel are "coachable" and not so "coachable".... Both types can succeed and can be competitive, but there is a difference. You want athletes that are athletic and coachable, knowing that you can have a very gifted athlete and if they are not coachable, they are going to harm the team more times than help them. even if they make the play of the game, there are times when they can be the best player for the opposing team.

In my spiritual life, I would say I am not very "coachable". There are people that have tried to lead me closer to Jesus. They tried in my youth, in my teens, in my twenties, and now that I am in my thirties, they are still trying. I thank them for that. Jesus is the coach. Why don't I listen to him more? Listen to the conversation he wants to have. Not just the answer to my problem, or the comfort in a tough time. Or, advice he gives when I have done something or said something that is probably not the appropriate thing. ( I had a great time in college!!) I am a Christian that has the faith and the belief that he is the truth. But I yearn for more. I yearn for a friendship with him..... I yearn to be more coachable....

Lost Chance...

When a Freshman, or a new student-athlete wants to join the football program, my first inclination is to make him aware of everything we do, our mission statement, when we meet, and everything that we make available to them. Then, every time I see them I make sure to take the time to say hi them or talk to them. Now, that is not any different probably than any other coach in a program. In fact, there are several coaches out there that I admire how well they relate to their players and how that strengthens their overall program. Believe me, I am a copycat. If I see something that I like I try to emulate it. The one thing that I am very weak in is the expectation part of it. I have my expectations, and I have expectations for the TEAM, during the season. I have expectations for practice time game time etc.... I don't have many expectations for the individual athlete out side of the season. Sure, I follow what they do, and try to keep contact with them, but if they miss a practice in another sport, or are not going to school during the winter months, acting up in school, etc.. If I hear about it, or see them and they tell me what is going on, I might talk to them about what is going on, and encourage them to get going in the right direction. But I don't think I have that high level of expectation for them still, as opposed to what I have for them in the season. During the season and summer, I also put the responsibility on the individual to have a high level of expectation of themselves. I leave the ball in their court on some expectations they should have for football. I tell them you have to want to be doing this to really succeed in it. And, if it is important to you, and you expect to be successful in it, then you have some sense of responsibility to make your teammates expectations go along with you. I can give many opportunities to my athletes to get better, but ultimately they have to want to get better. First, they have to be there. Second, they have to work when they are there. Third, they have to progress through the training. If one of those first two things are not happening, then the third one is hard to achieve.

I think about me in this situation with my walk with Jesus. He has expectations for me, but ultimately I have to have expectations for me. He gives the opportunities for me to have a relationship with him. How do I use them? If I were to look at the three things that I expect from the athletes in the football program and if the first two aren't there then the third one won't be what you want. Well, I would say I have faltered on the first two, and now that I sit here at age 37 I am still trying to get a closer relationship with Jesus. My progression isn't what I would have thought it would be at this time. Now, I have some questions about some things that have probably hampered the first two, but that will be a later entry....

How to start...

I talked about starting a relationship with Jesus rather than just relying on him to comfort me in trouble times, and to be there to guide me through stress and tough times. So, how do I do this? How do you start up a friendship with someone, or conversation. Rumor has it, I would talk to a wall if it was just me there! This is a true statement. I like to talk. Also, I am very much the class clown. That is good sometimes and bad for obvious reasons sometimes. How do I approach him? How do I start up a conversation? I would probably start with a joke, but how do you start with a joke that he doesn't already know the punch line too? Hey, have you heard the one about the.....

It would be tough. But, I think the biggest part would be to start the conversation. He wants to talk. He wants to start a friendship with me. He is just waiting.... He will be there to comfort me, and to help me in tough times, but he wants more. So do I, but it is a two way street. He has done more than his share, now it is time for me to do mine.

How does this relate to coaching? Every year I am going to have new athletes come into my program. I would like to have a relationship with each of those players. Each of those relationships are going to be different. Some good, some bad, some closer than others. The point is I am going to have to reach out first, then it will develop from there. After that it will be a give and take, adversity and good times. All those things are going to affect the relationship.

Jesus is my coach in this program. He has reached out and now it is my turn to develop a relationship with him.

New year... New Results?

Whether it be in my coaching profession, in my teaching, or in my life it seems that this time of year is bittersweet. Everything is out there. New semester in school, time to look at opponents for next year, and the new year always brings things to do in my life. So, the question is: "Why do I not look forward to January?". I always get a little down this time of year. When in reality, this should be the time I should start to feel refreshed. Ready to go. Everything is in front of me. Time to get a great start on things. Some of it has to do with where I am at with myself. I have never thought of myself as a real dynamo in anything. There are things I feel I do well, and things I absolutely don't do well at all. I think that this time of year I tend to concentrate on things that I need to correct, and those things only. "This year, I'm not going to do this, or I am not going to let this go, or I am going to make sure I get this corrected." I never take time to concentrate on some items that I do well, and make them perfect, or make them stronger. I need to be able to do both. One thing would be with my spiritual side. I am a Christian, and I do have faith in Jesus. I do not attend church, and I do not reach out to people about it. This may actually come as a surprise to anybody who knows me. I can be crude, rude, and curse with the best of them. Combine that with my lack of attending church, and not really reaching out to fellow Christians on fellowship, might lead many people to believe I should not consider myself Christian. I have faith in Jesus, and I do believe in what he says and his teachings. But, maybe because I will not fully put into his teachings, could be why I don't feel refreshed and ready to challenge the newness of the year ahead. How does this correlate with coaching? Well, I guess I ask the players to trust me, and learn from me, and to buy in to what I want done. Yet, I can't do that with the best " coach" life has out there.....

So am I hypocrite, or just a everyday person that needs to reconnect with my spiritual side. Instead of walking next to Jesus during my journey, always assuming he is there when I want to ask him a question or help me with a problem, but actually talk with him, and build a relationship with him....

Thanks

So, A year ago I started this blog, with the purpose to write my feelings, and get some things out there. I also started this to write some, because I like to write, but don't do it often...

Well, true to my form, I started, went a little, then gave it up. Used every excuse in the book to quit. Then , a good friend reached out, and told me about his blog. I read, and it really speaks to me. So, I am going to ride his coat tails on this and get back on this blog thing. Copy him probably, but in a good way. In a selfish way. I want to be a better me. I feel like this will help. Something has to help. So, I say thank you to that friend that reached out, about his blog, and shared with me.