Wednesday, March 10, 2010


I am poaching off of a topic my friend wrote on his blog page "Prone to wander". This friend of mine is smart. Very insightful individual, and very dedicated to Christianity. He wrote about fear. He is at a point where he needs to make an important decision in his life about an aspect of his job. He is a coach and every year it seems that coaches do have to make decisions about their job.
They have to reflect on their seasons past, and decide whether or not they will continue to do what they do. Understand this is the High School level. The pay is not that of "high profile" coaches, and the time put in is after work hours. We still teach as our main job. Coaching is supplemental. However, coaching can be more stressful than any other job out there, and a lot of times requires the coach has to wear many hats within the program and dealing with the athlete and the public. We coach because of our passion to do it. So, where does fear come into this equation? Coaching can consume you.... at any level. It can come between you and your family, friends, and even yourself. It can come between you and your relationship with Jesus. Once you are consumed with something, how do you walk away from it? There is the fear. You put yourself into something and you are competitive with it, and how do you walk away from it. How do you turn it off? How do you move past it after it has become a part of who you are?
In actuality should it be who you are? What should define you? 5-10 years ago I would have said my ability to be a successful coach should define me. I have found through maturity that isn't at all what should define me. It should be a part of my identity, but not my identity...
My relationship with Jesus should be a bigger part of my identity than any job or career that I do. I will say this though my relationship with him suffers during my coaching time. As does my relationship with my family and friends. I push back the amount of time I would like to spend with Jesus. I push back the time I would like to spend with my family and friends. SO why is there fear in giving up coaching? Sounds like a no-brainer.
Well, why do I coach? Passion. Sure, I have Passion for my family and friends, and Passion for my relationship with Jesus, and I have Passion for coaching. It is not just the wins and losses and the preparation for the games that I have Passion for.... It is the teaching of things beyond the sport I have passion for..... The relationships with the players that are formed when chasing the same goals. The life lessons that are taught through competition... All these things go into why I coach, and to just not do that would be tough. Not being able to identify with some athletes I would have coached, or not being able to identify with my peers in situations would be tough to do. However, not at the expense of my faith, family and friends.... To move out of one's comfort zone is scary..... I need to work on balancing myself. Being able to not put my relationships on the back burner during coaching.....


  1. You've hit upon the essence of the conversations I've been having with myself for the plas couple of years. I waited all my life to obtain the title of "Coach" and have people call me that. I've embraced that title, and it's been good to me. I even gave my dog that name. What would life be without it? Scares the heck out of me.

    There are sacrifices to be made to coach, and a balance must be reached. I fear that for myself, though, in my current situation, the payoff may not be worth the price.

    A good friend of mine just got out of coaching. Head coach of a large program. Loved it. And then all of sudden, he said it was time to be done. It was just time. He looks very content right now. . .

  2. Just want to make one thing clear - I'm not anti-coaching right now. I think it's a tremendous opportunity. If given the right situation to be a head coach, I would jump at he opportunity. My question for right now - should I be holding on to that desire by staying in a coaching position that I don't particularly enjoy at great cost to my time with family and God?