Changes

Well, I think when you try any new venture, you think that it will be this eye-opening fantastic new thing that "POW" just hits you and it is all a rush. Or, it is the opposite and everything just goes south. My conversations with Jesus have not been either. Have I felt some changes or some things as I am trying to build this relationship. Yes. I have both good feelings, and some not so good feelings. I have noticed a more even thinking and a general feeling of well-being. Not many know this but I struggle with depression. I have my good days and my bad MONTHS!! I seem to be a little more even keel with that, and things are not sending me spiraling into despair or sending me into an over blown state of euphoria only to have it come crashing down. It is more of control, or a trust in Jesus that whatever is coming or I am experiencing that he has control of it as well, and is able to guide me through it. I like this. I have wanted to get off my medication for depression the last year or two, but it really hasn't gone well. Maybe this can be the very early stages of trying again. It really isn't about that being a goal or anything, I think it is just a good feeling of being in more control of my emotions, and being able to turn things to him and know that I feel closer to him and not just turning them over to a stranger to help me through a problem or control my excitement.

I think about this with the football program. I strive for this kind of confidence and maturity in the football program. To be able to control the highs and lows of a season or even a practice. To know that one great practice or game or bad practice or game will not have much bearing on the next day. That every day will bring something new with challenges, successes, or failures, and that in the end how you deal with them out weighs having them.