Friday, January 22, 2010

It's a start....

It has been a few days, since I have written on the blog. Two reasons for that. 1. It is a very busy week. 2. I needed some time to start my conversation with Jesus and see where it would lead or go.

How is the progress after 6 days? Well.... hard. I really had trouble with the starting of it. Every night I pray the Lord's prayer. I started this during my Senior year in High School. I had attended a church service in North Platte, and the sermon was on prayer. I listened and decided that every night before I fell asleep, I would say the Lord's prayer, no matter where or what is going on in my life. It is a routine. I am very much a routine guy. But that is what it has become a routine. I don't want a routine connection with Jesus. I want a friendship. On my way to school, more times than not I pass this person that is on a walk. (Unless the weather is bad etc.. ) Anyway, I wave to them everyday. At first I got no wave back, then a reluctant wave, and then a kind of "good to see you again" wave. Now, it is almost like I worry a little bit if I don't see them, and get the wave. I wonder if they are hurt, sick, or maybe they think I am a stalker!!!

Do I have a relationship with that person? Yes, a little bit. It is a very routine relationship. I don't know their name, they don't know mine. We have probably run into each other at other places throughout town, and don't know it. But, I worry if I don't see this person walking in the morning. I almost need to see this person and wave to start the day. It is almost like a reassurance that the day is running smoothly!
That is how I felt about my prayer with Jesus at night. I said the prayer, and I then went to bed. If I didn't say it at night, I felt I was missing something. It is a very routine relationship with Jesus.
I want a better relationship with Jesus then just a wave and a reassurance that everything is still running smoothly. To do that is to start more of a conversation with him rather than just pray his prayer. I started that this week. I started with the just sitting down and closing my eyes and talking to him. I have read some verses from the bible on my computer. We'll see.
There is a lot of catching up to do, and some things to clear the air about. But, it's a start.....

1 comment:

  1. You know what you want, you have a plan, and you've stated the plan publically. You are committed, which is the best spot to be at the start of anything.

    Donald Miller warns in his book, "Here's the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain."

    But he also adds these two pieces of hope:
    - "The greatest stories go to those who don't give in to fear."

    - ". . . as soon as you point toward a horizon, life no longer feels meaningless. And suddenly there is risk in your story and a question about whether you'll make it. You have a reason to get out of bed in the morning."

    Just thought they seemed appropriate in your journey.